Frustration

Okay, i have decided that i am definitely in a relationship rut. I reckon at least 99% of people must surely be experiencing this too!! I go from 'i'm sure it will work out if i just persevere' to ' fuck this, i want out NOW!!'. I blame myself then i blame him. I know im not being unreasonable. Well at least i think im not. Since i have decided to 'give it another go' after breaking it off. I have tried to exercise the little patience i have. I have tried to please him, tried to look at him in the same light i did when we met. Tried to think about the good things. Yet still i cant help but get annoyed by what he doesnt do as opposed to what he does. i.e. decorating and not clearing up. Not washing a plate after i have jst finished the dishes, leaving the toilet shitty! I have tried to smile more and to stop myself when i feel im about to blow. But yet i still feel as though he is all talk and no action. And i say that at a push as communication always seems to break down. I think i want a miracle but i know deep down that is highly unlikely.

And so it begins

I've always been a fan of writing a diary while growing up and along the way.
Seeing as i feel as though i am clearly insane i figured i desperately needed an outlet. So her i am about to become a slave to my PC. Well it beats being a slave to everyone else.
I very tired so dont know why i have the strength to do this at 1:49 in the morning. I am going on a family holiday today. Have i finished packing?...NO. Have i finished cleaning and washing?......NO. Am i looking forward to the journey?............Answers on a postcard.